What are your expectations in relationships? I’ve heard so many expectations and I can’t help but wonder why. I am not saying expectations are bad, they are not. It is the best thing, but do you know one of the major reasons for divorce is “high expectations”?
Yes, because it hurts when those expectations are not met and I see most people justify their actions by saying the expectations of the righteous shall never be cut short. Ugh, who told you that? I have decided to help people save their relationships, that is why I will be sharing with you reasonable and unreasonable expectations in relationships.
Unreasonable Expectations In a relationships
1. Emotional
Most ladies want men to be vulnerable with them, express their emotions, cry before them, etc. While men also want their ladies to be strong, stop nagging, crying, complaining, etc.
This is an unrealistic expectation because you both are different, you can’t expect you both to act contrary to how you have been created. If you are not careful about this, you’ll constantly have trouble, that is why it is best to find a better approach. You can read Dr. John Gray’s “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”
2. Perfection
I’ve heard people say, He or she is perfect for me. It is a lie because no one is perfect, even the greatest person has little flaws. If you claim they are perfect and they make a single mistake in a day, you’ll be put off and it might kill the relationship.
3. The source of happiness
How can you expect humans to be your source of happiness? I often tell people that no one can make you happy except you make yourself happy because you are in control of your emotion. So don’t nag your partner for happiness, work on yourself and make it happen for you.
4. Love you the way you love
One thing everyone needs to understand is that both partners come from different homes where the yardstick for measuring and loving differs. You can’t love the same way.
Another person might show love through gifts, words of appreciation, etc. Read Gary Chapman’s book on “the five love languages”.
According to Gary Chapman’s “The five love languages”, people show love in one of 5 ways: gifts, words of appreciation, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time.
5. Want the same things in life
Your partner has their personal lives respectively before you got together to become one, although you might share the same goals, there are some points in life, where you differ from one another. So don’t expect to always pursue the same thing all your life.
Recommended: 9 Sure keys to Rekindle the Love in your Marriage
Reasonable expectations in relationships
Unlike the above, some reasonable expectations can be demanded if you want to build a healthy relationship and they include:
1. Respect
This is one basic key expectation in a relationship because you don’t want a relationship where you would be treated like dirt or a punching bag. So it is best to discuss the concept of respect with one another as it might mean different things to you both.
2. Affection
Affection is needed in a relationship, and there are different ways of showing it, it could be by words or actions. So it is best to communicate with your partner to know what works.
3. Time
We all love to spend time with our partners, don’t we? So you can discuss your expectations on the amount of time to be spent with one another with your partner to bond and have a satisfying relationship.
4. Challenges
Ohh, you were not told there is no perfect ride? Even the smooth road encounter bumps along the line. So expects to disagree to agree. Know that you will have challenges. However, brace yourself before it comes and discusses how it will be addressed ahead.
5. Growth
Growth should be expected in a relationship, you can’t be together and remain stagnant in every areas of your life.
Other expectations include Opening up, Honesty, Trust, Accountability, etc.
From the above, you can see the expectations to set and not to set, but this does not mean you sit back and accept all of these reasonable expectations should work out themselves with you doing nothing. No, you must chip In something to make your relationship work. So you can save your relationship today.
Have you ever set any of these unreasonable expectations in your relationship? Share your experience.
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