The desire of every single is to walk down the aisle with the love of their life and say yes to forever. However, it becomes a thing of concern to you, your loved ones including society, when the year goes by and you are still single. In today’s article, we’ll see 11 reasons why you are still single.
People begin to ask you “when?” as though picking a wedding date would change your status. Almost all your friends are married and some with kids. You’ve attended several weddings that you’re now becoming shy to go out. Sometimes you feel lonely, staring at beautiful couples and wondering when you will have someone to call your own.
You want to get married, I know right! But what exactly could be delaying it? The truth is that several factors are responsible for your singleness and I’m not even taking about village people. Understanding why you’re still single will enable you to adjust where necessary and put things in place for the future you seek.
Some of the reasons why you are still single in 2023 are (slides):
PAST EXPERIENCES
Negative experiences from the past can affect you deeply such that you will struggle to accommodate someone new. This can also be in the form of failed relationships; meeting the wrong people who cause nothing but pain, being abused sexually, physically, emotionally or otherwise, being cheated on or maltreated. They all have an impact on your mind.
When you have baggage in your heart and scars in your soul, it becomes difficult to truly love another. Even when you do, you keep hurting them, not because you want to but because something is wrong within. And you see, even when they love you, you find it difficult to receive the love and trust them.
Past experiences can make you build walls in your heart that restrict serious people from coming close, it closes your heart to love.
Some go as far as saying love is wicked, people are evil and that relationship doesn’t favour them.
Let me tell you the truth, love is beautiful and amazing. You had a bitter encounter, maybe multiple times, sorry about that, but it doesn’t change the fact that you can be happy in love.
It’s painful, yes! You didn’t deserve it, you yell, but please, there’s a whole lot you’re that’s on hold because you’re still stuck in your mind.
You need to let go, forgive yourself and the offenders and commit to healing. Trust me, moving on is bliss.
It’s difficult to progress if the past still has a grip on you. Change your mindset about love and your confession too.
FEAR OF MAKING MISTAKES
Past experiences can lead to an intense fear of making mistakes. Probably you came from a troubled home or you’ve heard several news of failed marriages and you’re scared not to go the same line.
But your fear is causing havoc because it’s restricting you from giving love a chance. You suspect genuine people because of fear. You even end relationships for no reason because you don’t want to get hurt.
The fear of making mistakes won’t stop you from making mistakes. You need to take away that burden from your heart and tell yourself that even if marriages are failing, yours is an exception. Your home is blissful and you will attract the right person.
TOXIC BEHAVIOURS
Negative attitudes can destroy your relationship and keep you single. Start looking out for unhealthy behaviours like over-demanding, poor financial management, disrespect, possessiveness, jealousy and insecurity. Check here to learn how to with jealousy and insecurity
Bad temper, unforgiveness, insensitivity, selfishness and parasitism (taking without giving) are also toxic behaviours that can choke love out of your relationship.
Yours might be different from these, but you know better those attitudes that can destroy your relationship.
Take away the foxes before they destroy your relationship.
In some cases, you always meet people with these behaviours and you wonder if you will ever meet someone different. Do not wallow in toxicity because you want to rush out of singlehood.
UNREQUITED LOVE
Ah ha! I know right! You know that moment when you love someone so much but they don’t feel the same way. It hurts terribly. But hey! It’s okay. People have a right not to choose you. So If the one you love isn’t looking your way after all your efforts, you need to accept it and move on.
Pay attention to those looking your way and see which of them you can learn to love or wait some more, the future is glorious. But please, marriage is too long to be in a loveless marriage. Don’t beg or force people to love you.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
Finding and living with the right person is not a fairy tale. You might want to review your expectations. Setting high expectations can keep you single for a long time. I’m not saying you should settle for less, far from it, but within you, you know that some things are just not necessary.
Some of your expectations are even influenced by friends and your desire to impress people that don’t even care at the expense of their future.
Examine your needs and why you need them. Your spouse is not an ATM or a robot that must do everything for you without you contributing positively to their lives and dreams. They are not actors who have to speak, think and act as you have planned. They have lives, dreams and perspectives too.
Those who have seemingly perfect homes aren’t perfect people, they built their homes deliberately. So you will meet people that are not as perfect as you anticipated, however, you need to ask yourself if it is something you can deal with.
PERSONAL PREFERENCE
Your preference can keep you single. The criteria of some persons on the kind of spouse they want are laughable. Wanting a particular age, height, profession, skin colour, body size, and more.
The truth is that some of these preferences do not contribute to the success of the home.
Another preference could be marrying from a particular tribe. So you keep declining prospects till you find your seeming perfect prospect.
While it’s good to have a preference for the kind of person you want, it’s also important to ensure your preference is relevant to the future you seek.
GENOTYPE
Many love birds have been separated because of this. Some have been a victim more than twice. It hurts so much to know that this is the only reason why you are still single. Some couples might go ahead still.
This is very sensitive and it won’t be nice to blame your spouse for leaving or wanting to stay. You know the future of your kids depends on your decision except you are sure of a miracle or an alternative. This should be a well-thought decision.
Just note that your genotype can’t stop your happiness, you will meet someone that will love you with a compatible genotype.
YOU ARE DESPERATE
You want to get married, great, but you want it too much. It’s sending out repulsive signals and people are running. Sometimes you don’t even have to say it, but because you want it badly in your mind, it will reflect in your character, the things do and can even lead to toxic behaviours.
You need to calm down. Marriage won’t make you happy if you are not happy as a single. Just like others, your turn will come. There’s no substitute for being at peace till you find your time comes.
YOU ARE NOT READY
You don’t want to get married now, maybe due to your career or desire to attain a certain educational or financial level before settling down.
It’s easy to say you are ready for marriage when you’re not ready mentally, emotionally and otherwise; forgetting that your subconscious will always have more impact than the conscious.
Are you committed to getting married? Do you still insult admirers, shy away from connecting with people, and remain in your shell waiting for a miracle?
If you desire something, then prepare for it. Not just by mouth but in every aspect.
Start preparing for the life you seek, dress and smell nice, build up skills and capacity that will help you build a home, commit to being the right person, and watch your days of singleness being numbered.
WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MAN
You belong here if you know what you want, you’re fully ready and you’re waiting patiently waiting for the love of your life.
Don’t let anything steal your joy, your singleness will be history soon. Keep building the right connections and keep your faith alive.
ASSUMPTIONS
That moment when you shut your heart against serious prospects because you are waiting for your crush to say something. You get calls every day, that’s love, right?
You will be shocked if I tell you the number of persons going through heartbreak that the seeming heartbreaker isn’t even aware of, or is it the number of persons that are in a relationship in their mind…funny right? But it’s true.
Don’t assume someone is committed to you when all their actions prove otherwise.
If you love someone, don’t assume he/she will know it. If you care for someone, express it. People have ended relationships because they didn’t feel loved or wanted.
Have you been going about saying you don’t care about marriage, you are this or that and you expect people to know you are joking?
You shy away from building quality friendships and assume that when you are ready to get married, your spouse will appear from Adam.
Maybe you’ve heard people’s love stories and you think yours will happen the same way. You’ve calculated how your spouse will speak and act; If he doesn’t act that way, then he’s not the one. now I’m laughing.
You need to have an open mind if you want to settle and say no to assumptions.
What about thinking your relationship will work because you’re smart and beautiful? Nothing works until you work.
Enough of the assumptions, it’s a terrible premise for making life-changing decisions.
Other reasons include family objections, incompatibility and many more.
Do you want to add some additional reasons for being single? Please mention them in the comment and if you find this interesting, kindly share.
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See also: 14 Causes of Divorce & How To Avoid It
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